The Perpetual Pickle of People Pleasing

I’ve long been a chronic people pleaser. I’ll not go into the list of reasons that I feel led me to be this way but I am aware and accepting of it and trying every day to take steps to reduce this trait so that I am completely aligned with my core values of Connection, Integrity (and Compassion) and building systems that are leading me to get what I want from my life.

Yesterday is a prime example of when my People Pleasing trait won out when I was charged £10 for 2 cups of tea and £1.25 service charge when I went to the bar and back and forth with the cups, jug and milk. I did scoff a query about whether the tea leaves were sourced by royal command but still tapped my card to pay. More fool me. But I’m aware.

Being a people pleaser can have a significant and often dangerous impact on our lives. It can make us feel eaten with frustration and overwhelm and ultimately be bad for our health. People pleasing can make us anxious and can be utterly draining and exhausting. It reinforces limiting negative beliefs that hold us back from who we really are.

🔥“You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep others warm.” Unknown

We are entirely responsible for all that we say and do for others. We have incredible power in our responsibility. The moment we shuffle off responsibility, our power dwindles. As the great Eleanor Roosevelt stated, “no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

✨What or who do you need to say ‘no’ to?
✨What boundaries to you need to set to ensure your needs get met?
✨How do you vent your feelings?
✨When you say ‘yes’ to others, how are you saying ‘no’ to yourself? (Paulo Coehlo)
✨Where in your life would you like to be more assertive?
✨What difference would this make to you?

If you feel you would like help in addressing your People Pleasing ways, creating, managing and respecting your boundaries, saying no to people, then please get in touch with me for a Connection Call.